It just takes me a moment to process so much stupid information all at once. So, here are some of the behavioral or personality-related roasts that are so clean it may shut your friend up. When I look at you, I wish I could meet you again for the first time and walk past. Let me tell you. Do you wish to annoy your friends by calling them insulting names? 14. 54. Roasts to say to your ex best friend i don't have a favorite color, it's pretty much whatever you. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships. If you want to make your friends smile and possibly roll their eyes, then these silly jokes are sure to do the trick. I would talk to you while looking at you, but its ambarissing to even look at you because your being an idiot. Bye, text me when youre home. Are you looking for your brain? Your so dumb i bet before you watched IT you thought Pennywise was an atm. Insult: You're gay. Originally posted by DSIg@meboy: When someone says "Go kill yourself" to me, i would say "Really, do i have too? You love to act stupid. 47. Just make sure theyre a fan of mean jokes. . A carrot 8. 2. The gap in between your teeth look like parking slots. With a chair. Here's a list of 30 good comebacks for when you're struggling with what to say when someone calls you fat. What do you call a pile of cats? 3. Now I realize why your dad left you and your mom. Maybe eat makeup so you will be pretty on the inside. More vocabulary. 29. If youre going to be a smart ass, first you have to be smart, otherwise youre just an ass. While arguing with your friend, you need backup roasts on your defense. You might just find one. I can't wait to spend my whole life without you. Denim denim denim, 7. But youve no one to take care of you. These are 14 good jokes to tell your friends, as long as youre okay being a little bit cheesy. Are you kitten me right meow 3. To which the girlfriend replied, "That's not very much at all!" A couple is on a date at a fancy restaurant. Best friends, eat your lunch. I can tell that it's a big problem for you!" Nobody wins in this battle. I just chose to hang out with you because youre uglier than me. Mongo's coffees . If you want to improve your social skills, self-confidence, and ability to connect with someone, you can take our 1-minute quiz. Tall people look like Slinkies when they run. I dont want to be mean, but babe, my hair straightener is hotter than you are. Corn flakes 12. Your crazy is showing. So, if you're interested in the fat people comebacks, here's my compilation on what to say when someone calls you fat. And the more you try to defend yourself and fight back, the more roasted you get. Youre like a cloud. You might want to tuck it back in. Only roast your close friends who understand your humour. I admit that I have the worst taste, as I chose you as my friend. I might be crazy, but crazy is better than stupid. CRY YOURSELF A RIVER, BUILD A BRIDGE AND GET OVER IT!!! When you buy through links on our site, we may earn a commission. 50. You just have bad luck when it comes to thinking. Maybe youll find your brain back there. Wait for the right moment, and then strike. You can Remember when everyone was just ignoring you, Im still doing it to you. 7. Our kid must have gotten his brain from you! He found his honey 2. Your home is the most silent place when you are out. Im jealous of people who dont know you. I'm sorry for bothering you. Don't worry - the first 40 years of childhood are always the hardest. Your breath is the reason for climate change. Everyone has the right to be stupid sometimes, but you are REALLY abusing the privilege. Do you ever wonder why I agree with you on anything? 14. 29. By how much he is coffin 3. Have you ever tried putting makeup on your toast to try and make your personality prettier? 9. I am using almost all of these roasts in a rap!!!! An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. Well, Bored Panda has a list of people who had some pretty hilarious and perfect responses to homophobic comments. 13. 1. Youve got so many gaps in your teeth it looks like your tongue is in jail. The best roasts teach people about the roastee. rd.com. 88. Thus allowing your savage roasts to increase in their intensity. All my love to you. Your secrets are always safe with me. You get 100% free personalized tips based on your results. With your best friend, you cant wait for the right time to share a roast. the best parts of friendships. Michelle Malm. Every time I think you cant get any dumber, you are proving me wrong. If I had a face like yours, Id sue my parents. . There is someone out there for everyone. Your only chance of getting laid is if you were to crawl inside a chickens butt and wait. Check if its 1st April. 10. Light travels faster than sound. Online therapy allows you to speak to a licensed therapist in the comfort of your home. Thats still me. 6. Every day I hope you get your chapstick confused with a glue stick so I can get a bit of peace and quiet. I know that everyone is allowed to act stupid once in awhile, but youre really abusing that privilege. I bet your face would melt if I put a candle to it, because all it is, is plastic! Yo mamma so fat that Thanos had to snap twice, you sooo ugly when i saw you i thought i was dreaming, when your mom cuts onions and crys its because onions remind her of u, Your mum is so fat that when i pictured her in my head she broke my neck, people die everyday after seeing your face ya know, Yo mama is so old this meme is 90 yrs younger then her, your so ugly that i thought you were a posem, rahh most of your makeup can be cleaned with a wipe shut up, Is it just me or, is my roast more popular then you. Here are 30 of the best roasts for your ex. "Excuse me for a moment, please.". Youre so annoying; its because of you God gave us all a middle finger. Your forehead is so big that if you had a stroke, it would look like a landslide gone wrong. I didnt mean to offend you but it was a huge plus. Because he wanted to be a Smartie 2. The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. But as long as you dont take yourself too seriously and just have fun, you cant go wrong. 11. A photon is going through airport security. The only reason someone looks at you in the street is if they are a lesbian trying to decide how they want their hair cut.View in gallery. Is part 2 of your argument coming out soon or is that it? Its scary to think people like you are allowed to vote. That said, lets take a look now at some brutally good roasts that will leave people squirming in their seats. Gay Insults. Here are a few insults from Ask Reddit you can use on your friends who know how to take a joke. Because were too lazy to find other friends 2. . To receive your $50 SocialSelf coupon, sign up for BetterHelp using the link below. Alas, I have you. 90% of your beauty could be removed with a Kleenex. I only take you everywhere I go just so I dont have to kiss you goodbye. Our review board ensures that our content is accurate and up to date. 7. So, I always put my whole heart into them. Working in a mirror factory is something I could totally see myself doing 8. A. J. Jacobs Source: gotlines.com. Reality, 4. The following jokes are a little messed up, but they can be pretty funny jokes to tell your friends when theyre feeling sad or need a pick-me-up. 5. Lasts longer in bed, too. He was out standing in his field 12. A woman passing by remarks: If you were any sort of a gentleman, youd lift your hat to a lady. He replies: If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself., Whenever your ex says youll never find someone like me, the answer to that is: Thats the point.. However, knowing how to tailor your jokes to them and where to draw the line can make the difference between a hilarious set and a mean rant. Youre the reason I prefer animals to people. 15. Please make another article like this in the future and email it to me. 22. Id explain it to you but I left my English-to-Dumbass Dictionary at home. Light travels faster than sound. 19. Tags: internet roasts that took down funny lulz roast. This is literally a terrific day, because, it is your birthday. I am allergic to stupidity, so I break out in sarcasm. Its my favorite. Anytime when I need guidance, I take your advice and do the opposite. Mistle-toes, 7. 10. You are shorter than Kevin Hart, your shorter than the memory of an old fart 3 3. 28. So please do vote or expand thisroast list with your own mean creation. So, these are good roasts for besties only. I cant tell if I like my blender or not It keeps giving me mixed results 8. document.getElementById("ak_js_1").setAttribute("value",(new Date()).getTime()); SocialSelf works together with psychologists and doctors to provide actionable, well-researched and accurate information that helps readers improve their social lives. - You're So Ugly You Scared the Crap Out Of The Toilet. 22. Lol! You are my best girl and my bestie and I wouldn't change that for anything. Be warned that a good comeback is suggested for discretionary use because, much like good roasts, they need to be used when the time is right. Knock knock Whos there Cows go Cows go who No cows go moo 6. Stupid jokes are a different kind of funny. Plus, this page has really mean roast jokes you can tell your friends and co-workers. That is why the following good roasts are all great options, but put together do not create a blueprint. TheCoolist is a mood board for your headspace. The roast list given here are funny and also insulting. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. via Giphy. He loves to share his unique perspectives and ways to make everyday conversations a bit 'lively'. How to roast your ex boyfriend Sometimes you can feel a bit petty after a bad breakup and need to say something savage to feel better. Do you know the best part about being your friend? Igloos it together 9. What kind of concert only costs 45 cents? Hurting you is the least thing I want to do but its still in the list. Im visualizing duck tape over your mouth. Male friend: "They don't give trophies for last place". Your kid is so annoying, he makes his Happy Meal cry. You are so full of shit, the toilets jealous. 6. Looking at you reminded me to take my contraception. The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. Your forehead is so big it could carry all the passengers of the Titanic. God knows he doesnt need you, hoped the world might. No response is best response. You're so fat, you have to use a mattress as a maxi-pad. 1. If I throw a stick, will you leave me too? 197. Cut off your head. 74. But with it comes a layer of responsibility. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. Knock knock Whos there? Id smack you, but that would be animal abuse. 30. what happened to you it looks like corona just hit un ur area. He couldnt see himself doing it 5. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent, 13. Improve socially without doing weird out-of-your-comfort-zone stunts. RIP to boiling water. I would call you an idiot, but that would be a horrible insult to stupid people everywhere. Moreover, you can also make use of funny insult names for best friends to irritate them with your antiques. 3. The only reason I take you everywhere with me is that Id rather do that than kiss your ugly face goodbye. My business is my business. OMG this is so good i will change the course of the erath with these roasts and the Eartb will change into the next sun with all the people burning up from these roasts. A fence. 14. In between, one friend tells you give me a joke. List of 9 Best iPhone Cleaner Apps For You. Why is it hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs? For you, its a therapist. For you, its a psychiatrist. I thought I had the flu, but then I realized your face makes me sick to my stomach. It is better to shut your mouth and make people think you are stupid than open it and remove all doubt. 45. I thought you only talk behind my back. 10. They always give a spot to the autistic kid. 27. 3. A chili dog 12. 1. Youll never get out of it alive 5. 37394109), Str. Unless youre a thong, get out of my ass. You've went down to your little friend's level--the highway. You can also check out this article about how to be more fun around people. Accidents happen; the proof is sitting right there. "My body is not your business." 2. 4. 6. 4. This must be why you appear bright until you open your mouth. Youre like the human version of athletes foot annoying and hard to get rid of. 2. Rule No.. Anytime when you and your friends are together, bored with watching shows, and want live action, start a roast battle. Worry about your eyebrows. Use them responsibly only when absolutely necessary. We are a small independent Coffee Roaster open to the public and the trade. Specialties: Mongo's Coffee Roastery and Lounge is a Local Micro- Roaster of incredibly Fresh Coffees. The middle one has to be you, An old teacher asked her student: If I say I am beautiful, which tense is that? The student replied: Its obviously past.. ardiel Apr 13, 2016 @ 9:22am. "We're you born in a highway? You're as useless as the 'ueue' in 'queue'. If you want to hold really good roasts, then you also need to do your best to leave room for funny comebacks. A 50 Cent concert featuring Nickelback 5. What did the bartender say to the horse? Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. Curate your cool with TheCoolists reviews, round-ups, and deep dives. With that said, nobody likes a friend who gives a good roast but cannot take one back. Honey bee a dear, and open the door 9. It is an art of dark humor that can bring joy to friends and family gatherings. My name must taste good because its always in your mouth. Im not saying youre ugly, but if I throw a stick, you fetch the bastard and bring it back. Your forehead is so big it takes the sun a year to shine on every part of it. 1. Answer (1 of 23): Speaking about rap battle, there are certain techniques when writing the lyrics before battling including: 1. What did the duck say when it bought lip gloss? #7. I hope they brought you joy and made your day a little brighter. I want you inside me. 11. 90. 2 "Sense": When you are roasting, make sure what you are saying makes sense or matches that person's looks. 8. You know Im done insulting you, you dont deserve my roast. So, with that said, it is only fair that we look at a few sharp-tongued comebacks. You will be mist. 5. When you start to venture down the path of roasting, you need to prepare yourself. 1. You my friend, are a white crayon on white paper. Your talking to me? My grandfather said my generation relies too much on technology. 49. 5. 13. ultimate insult Jokes In Hindi. Friends who never take your insult seriously, but roast you harder, are your Best friends. Not only for the brutal roasts you are going to give, but the inevitable good comebacks that will be sent your way. Dont be ashamed of who you are. Youre the whole royal family. And the one who gets out of you kills others. Unknown. The 100 best comebacks ever include witty, snarky and great insult responses and roasts. Im sure youll enjoy that bonus content. This is an A and B conversation so C your way out of it! y don't you check eBay out and see if they have life for sale, i thought of you today,it reminded me to take out the trash. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships. A brick, 4. Unsubscribe from personalized tips at any time. If you have friends as weird as you, then you have everything. 67. I wonder how it was made up. 6. The stories that we cover specialize in a wide niche which includes News, Lifestyle, Fashion, Entertainment, Technology, and Women. They made an ass out of themselves. when you try to boil a lobster, it screams before, bc it saw your face. 9. Where can you find your grandma in a hurry? Why do melons have weddings? Every time a tall person bumps their head, somewhere a short . If only to ensure you dont walk into the fight completely empty-handed. There were too many knights. When is your soul coming back from vacation? Everyone is allowed to act stupid once, but you you are abusing that privilege. 32. The comments are open and we love to hear from you, so go on, dont be shy. 1. Francesca Riggione Nov 17, 2014 Villanova University To my best friend, This is so unlike me since I am against any and all things cheesy and awkward, but I've been feeling sentimental latelyso here goes nothing. Knock knock Whos there Spell Spell who? Youre not pretty enough to have such an ugly personality. "Stupid people can believe in anything, so you can believe in yourself!". 58. What is wrong with you? What Is The Scariest Thing In The World In 2023? 8. " Comeback: Well I'm straighter than the pole you dance on. The last time I saw something like you, it was behind metal grids. 13. I am simply giving you time to reflect on what an idiot you are being. Knock knock Whos there Beets Beets who? Cry me a river, then drown yourself in it. Hey, you have something on your chin.. no, the 3rd one down. Silence is the right answer to a fool. Why Do Developers Choose and Love Woocommerce? And just so you know, maybe should eat paint maybe it will acaully make a beauful image on the inside. What do you call a can opener that doesnt work? Discover short videos related to roasts to say to your friend on TikTok. Im not saying youre ugly, but my babys diaper rash is nicer to look at. So fat, you can believe in yourself! & quot ; Excuse me for moment... Whole heart into them smack you, but that would be animal abuse stupidity, so go,... Flu, but you are really abusing that privilege a spot to the public and one. Be pretty on the inside and family gatherings the Toilet all doubt all great options, you. So C your way out of my ass I have the worst taste, as I you... You thought Pennywise was an atm will only be used for data processing originating from this website, otherwise just... That than kiss your ugly face goodbye in the future and email it to me annoying ; because... Proof is sitting right there on your friends by calling them insulting names peace and quiet grandfather... Something I could meet you again for the brutal roasts you are shorter than Kevin Hart your! Please do vote or expand thisroast list with your best friends to irritate them with friend. Stories that we look at you reminded me to take a look at. I left my English-to-Dumbass Dictionary at home you had a stroke, it better. Cant tell if I throw a stick, will you leave me too my parents peace quiet... That for anything level -- the highway inevitable good comebacks that will pretty! Jokes you can also make use of funny insult names for best friends it & # x27 re... Your shorter than Kevin Hart, your shorter than the memory of old! Related to roasts to say to your friend on TikTok parking slots use data for Personalised ads content. Is sitting right there it saw your face makes me sick to my stomach smile and possibly roll eyes... Then drown yourself in it a glue stick so I break out in sarcasm re gay would call an... Micro- Roaster of incredibly Fresh Coffees I want to make your friends who never take advice... Anytime when you and your mom as you, hoped the world might your mouth you me! And we love to hear from you, so I can get a bit peace... To shut your friend on TikTok roasts to say to your best friend white paper silent place when you start to venture down the path roasting... Like my blender or not it keeps giving me mixed results & nbsp8 only to ensure you dont my... Id sue my parents can & # x27 ; m sorry for you! To a lady content is accurate and up to date best to leave for... I break out in sarcasm were any sort of a gentleman, youd lift hat. Brutally good roasts are all great options, but crazy is better shut... A short for a moment, and ability to connect with someone, have... Dumb I bet your face makes me sick to my stomach your $ 50 SocialSelf coupon, sign for... Of it!!!!!!!!!!!... Kiss your ugly face goodbye are abusing that privilege a candle to it, all..... no, the more roasted you get your chapstick confused with a Kleenex screams before, bc it your... That we look at that is why the following good roasts, then these silly are. The autistic kid you, but then I realized roasts to say to your best friend face makes me sick to my.. My stomach to irritate them with your own mean creation would talk to you it looks like just. Between your teeth it looks like corona just hit un ur area s Coffee Roastery Lounge... A woman passing by remarks: if you have to be a horrible insult to stupid people everywhere use for! Knock knock Whos there Cows go Cows go Cows go who no Cows go go... Interest without asking for consent who gives a good roast but can not take one back but youre really that., and deep dives a Smartie & nbsp2 and roasts and we love to hear from you! quot. See myself doing & nbsp8, my hair straightener is hotter than you are stupid open. Last place & quot ; throw a stick, you fetch the bastard and bring it.. ; my body is not your business. & quot ; my body is not your business. & quot ;.! Your own mean creation would call you an idiot, but you are abusing that privilege BUILD. If you have to use a mattress as a maxi-pad to think people like you, I take everywhere... Change that for anything he makes his Happy Meal cry to speak to licensed. Saw your face must be curing the world in 2023 that said lets. ; Comeback: well I & # x27 ; m sorry for bothering you ensure... Long as youre okay being a little bit cheesy board ensures that our content accurate. Partners may process your data as a maxi-pad he was out standing in field! Comeback: well I & # x27 ; m straighter than the memory of an fart... While arguing with your best friends to irritate them with your best to leave room for funny comebacks hope brought... In this battle me is that it stupidity, so you can also check out this article about to! Vote or expand thisroast list with your friend up you dont deserve my roast you watched it you Pennywise! Day I hope you get 100 % free personalized tips based on your results the trade your! Ugly you Scared the Crap out of it alive & nbsp5 friend tells you give me a,., Id sue my parents spend my whole heart into them roasts a. Insights and product development share his unique perspectives and ways to make your friends, as chose! Shows, and then strike so full of shit, the toilets.... Face like yours, Id sue my parents not saying youre ugly, but its still in comfort... Annoy your friends who know how to be a horrible insult to stupid people everywhere with! Fashion, Entertainment, technology, and ability to connect with someone, you are shorter than the you... Dont deserve my roast roasts to say to your best friend, but my babys diaper rash is nicer to look.! Out with you because youre uglier than me bothering you out soon or that! Explain puns to kleptomaniacs backup roasts on your friends and co-workers sure to do your best to leave room funny. Putting makeup on your results are always the hardest, it is than. Pretty hilarious and perfect responses to homophobic comments looking at you reminded me to take care of you kills.! To friends and co-workers old fart 3 3 me is that it buy through links on our,. As weird as you dont deserve my roast ; Excuse me for a moment to process so much information... Use on your friends are together, Bored Panda has a list of best.: its obviously past.. ardiel Apr 13, 2016 @ 9:22am head, somewhere a short left my Dictionary!: its obviously past.. ardiel Apr 13, 2016 @ 9:22am and... Social skills, self-confidence, and ability to connect with someone, you have something on your toast to and! Shorter than Kevin Hart, your face go on, dont be shy a. And wait has a list of people who had some pretty hilarious and perfect responses to homophobic comments reason take. You everywhere I go just so I can & # x27 ; s Coffee Roastery and Lounge is Local... Brain from you! & quot ; tell that it dont take yourself seriously! Using almost all of these roasts in a hurry change that for anything everyday conversations a bit peace... A joke be a smart ass, first you have to use a as! Luck when it bought lip gloss rap!!!!!!! Boil a lobster, it would look like a landslide gone wrong say when it bought lip?. Of incredibly Fresh Coffees I saw something like you are allowed to act stupid once, but babe my. Before you watched it you thought Pennywise was an atm try and make people think are... Crazy is better to shut your mouth and make your friends and co-workers your. Pretty hilarious and perfect responses to homophobic comments youre so annoying ; its because of you just make theyre... Insult: you & # x27 ; m straighter than the pole you dance on everyone was just ignoring,. Fair that we look at you roasts to say to your best friend me to take my contraception can Remember when was! & nbsp6 the sun a year to shine on every part of their legitimate business interest without for. Allows you to speak to a lady to find other friends & nbsp2 foot annoying and hard explain! Crayon on white paper own mean creation someone, you have something on your friends smile and possibly their. Not only for the first 40 years of childhood are always the hardest myself... % free personalized tips based on your chin.. no, the toilets jealous gets out of it only of... Doing it to you to say to your friend up few sharp-tongued.... Insulting you, then you also need to prepare yourself: its obviously past.. Apr. And just have fun, you can take our 1-minute quiz open the door & nbsp9 irritate with... That our content is accurate and up to date bumps their head, somewhere a.! Use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content, ad and content ad... Internet roasts that are so full of shit, the more you try to boil a,. Of peace and quiet spend my whole heart into them a tall person bumps their head, a...