Story-Based Electricity Puns. My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking. Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today. Planning for a retirement party? Only one, but it will take him two or three days to complete the job. ", The engineer reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. A World War II veteran earned his high school diploma when he was 91 years old, 74 years after dropping out. I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. You should have been in retirement a long time ago., The old rooster replies: Come on, surely you cannot handle all of these chickens. The chemical engineer stands up and proclaims: Ive got it! Youre between 59 and 60 degrees north latitude and between 107 and 108 degrees west longitude.. An engineer, a statistician, and a physicist are out hunting. The engineer goes second. Did you happen to get up in the middle of the night, while I was fast asleep, and go up to the house and pay her a visit?, Yeah, I confess Rolly sheepishly replied, a little embarrassed about being found out. Hey, I got a joke for you: what do all retired people like doing most? Sort by: Most popular Senior man having fun at home. I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only one check left. A: An introverted engineer looks at his shoes when hes talking to you, an extroverted engineer looks at your shoes when hes talking to you. Q: Why did the electron throw up? When do retirees make plans for their exciting, new, madcap adventures? Accountants dont retire, they just lose their balance. I told him that as a lifelong Muslim, I was forbidden from consuming pork. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge. Being an over-confident arts student, he soon began to brag to the other workers about all sorts of things. The physicist uses his glasses to focus the sunlight to burn a hole in the can. At the station, each lawyer bought a ticket whereas the engineers bought only one ticket between them. There are some who are straight faced serious - completely committed to their profession. All of our consultants have relevant technical backgrounds and are therefore able to source the best positions for you. The mathematician chose the alphabet, which gave humanity power . Several years later, the company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were having with one of their multi-million dollar machines. Well, this list is not complete if we dont have some dad retirement jokes. Full retirement will do you good., The old rooster says: I tell you what, young stud. 2023, Best Summer Captions and Quotes (for Family and Friends), 29 Funny Money Quotes to Share with Friends (good laugh, good time! Retirement is when you finally stop doing what your boss tells you to do, and you start doing what your wife tells you to do. ", Seasoned engineer: "It ensures that all my budgets are irrational.". Go away! said Myra. If you have a million monkeys on a million keyboards, one will eventually write a Java program. I failed Engineering 101 in my final exam because I used the wrong pencil. That doesnt work. Ive got my Swiss Army knife with me, and in no time at all I can strip down the cars braking system, isolate the fault, fix it, and we can be on our way., Well, said the Software Engineer, Before we do anything, I think we should push the car back up the road and see if it happens again.. Wow, remarked his friend. How do you start a flood? he asked. The . We actually talked to each other. It takes two tries to get up from the couch. Retirement has cured many a businessmans ulcers and given his wife one. The ticket collector took it and moved on. You could call it a, Electrical engineers like to keep their news, Discovering the facts about electricity might. I. O. These jokes about funny retirement speeches are worth your time. So, they deserve to savor this moment. Send us a message and well add it to the list! I dont have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now thats cool!, Did you hear about the constipated engineer? They made it safely to the mountains and enjoyed a great weekend of skiing. Chemical Engineer Vs. Chemist There are 10 types of people in the world Those who understand binary, and those that do not! Funny grandmother portraits. He was tired of being the butt of all the jokes! The statistician leaps in the air shouting, We got it!. A: They were mechanically inclined. Q: Whats a hydraulic ram used for? The doctor replies, OK. Yes, Im afraid so, the doctor told her. We share them in our weekly newsletter. Lumberjacks never retire, they just pine away. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? Answer: The term comes with a 10 percent discount. You are signed up for our newsletter! It is free and the FUNNIEST Newsletter you will ever receive! A: Nice buttress. Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch. After a while, the underworld had air conditioning, flush toilets, and escalators, and the engineer was becoming a pretty popular guy among the demons.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-narrow-sky-2','ezslot_24',627,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-narrow-sky-2-0'); One day, God called Satan up on the telephone and asked with a sneer, So, hows it going down there in hell?, Satan laughed and replied, Hey, things are going great. Engineers have a very particular sense of humor, one that many people just don't understand. We will continually strive to improve quality, work towards increasing productivity and play an active role in helping your business to build for the future. Jokes4us.com Privacy Policy. Myra stepped back and said with a smile said, Well let me get you a spoon, young man, because they cut off my electricity this morning.. The CIA had an opening for an assassin. In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first. ", The first student says, "Good call, I'll bet her clothes wouldn't have fit either of us. What do you call a worker who is of retirement age, hates his job, and refuses to retire? Whos there? A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean. Ive changed my will three times!. Retirement doesnt mean you also need to have retired humor. I admit that I did., And did you happen to use my name, continued Joe with his questioning, instead of telling her your real name?, Rollys face turned red and he said, Yeah, look, Im sorry, old buddy. Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand. Starts at 60 Writers. The engineer just looked up the model number of the ball in the Red Ball Manual and read the volume off the page. A: He had more degrees. There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, Im wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked NO REFILLS.. Engineers never retire, they just lose their bearings. He dropped in on Rolly at the coffee bar and asked, Rolly, do you remember that good-looking widow at the farm where we stayed at on our ski holiday up North about nine months ago?, I am just curious, stated Joe. "Let's see what you have. Assume the can is open!. The frog, confused, ups the ante. Giphy. They have a supply of canned goods but no can opener. Indeed our lives would not be what it is were it not for the brilliant ideas and solutions that engineers cook up in their minds. Once the weather breaks, we will be out of here immediately headed for the mountains. The woman agreed, and Joe and Rolly settled in for the night. Again the guards allow it, and again they pull the lever. if (year<1900) {year+=1900} document.write(year); Roach you an email last week and Im still waiting for a response. Everything hurts, and what doesnt hurt; doesnt work. 87 FUNNY Soccer Jokes To Get You Laughing! I am Julia, I love to laugh and I love to make people laugh. Do you realize that in about 40 years, well have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos? I'm an engineer. A retired husband is often a wifes full-time job. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the National Weather Service. They find out that theyre to be executed for their crimes but none of them can remember what they have done. ), 54 Helpful Business Quotes for Growth and Success. The guards allow it, and place his head through the slot. The company demanded an itemised account for his charges. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard as they approached the foothills. I am retired, youre not! Q:Why was the thermometer smarter than the test tube? Nine months later, Joe got an unexpected letter from an attorney. Know an engineering joke we missed? A; They had truss issues.. But retirement can be boring only can be! An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him. Every retiree is excited about their pensions and you should be! The guards agree and place him in the machine. Share & Print. You really should have one because not only this may be the last time you can be with your colleagues but also this is a way of bragging that you are on your way to enjoying your hard work. When youre looking for a boyfriend in engineering, the odds are good, but the goods are odd. The physicist goes first. These are not retired jokes. Answer: Instead of lying about your age, you start bragging about it! None. Then it dawned on me they were cramming for their finals. ", "Well," she says, "you don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had solved so many of their problems in the past. Vehicle mechanics? Two days later the guy comes back and the doctor declares, Weve found your problem., The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off. Abe Lemons. "The guy sitting next to me," he continues, "is 6 2 . You finally have enough experience and then have to retire! To an engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. A sailor tells a joke to two Marines. Our areas of expertise include Recruitment, Resourcement Management, Subcontracting and Managed Agency Services. A wife asks her husband, an engineer, for a favour. Professor : Why didnt you complete you Programming task? Knock knock. If every old Frigidaire in Alabama vented a charge of R-12 at the same time, calculate the precise effect on the ozone layer. 6. Bank managers dont retire, they just lose interest. An engineer, a statistician, and a physicist are out hunting. ", A graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Would you like fries with that?". A: Mechanical engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets. I Heard It through the Grape Nuts by Marvin Gaye. Put me in face up too," he says. A: Rho, rho, rho your boat, gently down the radius of curvature. He got a 1-2-1-2. As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier. The mathematician, of course, has been watching all this out the window. An engineer died and reported to the pearly gates. They re-tire every day. Family Game: Do you really know your Family? The engineer said, "In the neighborhood of $100,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The HR Manager said, "Well, what would you say to a package of $200,000 a year, 5 weeks of vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary and a company car leased every 2 years - say, a Mercedes?" Q: What did one bridge end her relationship to the other bridge? Read more. Retirees answer: Six Saturdays and one Sunday. I18nGuy Home Page More Engineer Jokes. That sure is a great bike. "Why don't you put your money where your mouth is," said the engineer. There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. An engineer died and reported to the Pearly Gates. My wife told me shell bang my head on the keyboard if I dont stop working on the computer. No thanks, says the Photon Im travelling light., Wind turbine 1: "What kind of music do you like?". Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. They loaded up Rollys truck and headed into the mountains. He tells the guy to come back in two days. Im sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry.. "Darling, can you please go to the shop to buy one pint of milk? An elderly man remembers the good old days: When I was young, my mom could send me to a shop with a single dollar bill and I would bring back five pounds of potatoes, two pounds of bread, a bottle of milk, a piece of cheese and 10 eggs. Wait, youre leaving? But then I think, since Im going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first. Keep smiling and join us on Social, we'd love to have you over. So, to help lighten up those moments during a stressful day, we scoured the web to find the funniest engineering jokes. Q: What do you do with dead chemical engineers? A uniform beam walks into a bar. The second one is strapped in and gives his last words. ", No, says the second man. To their astonishment, the engineers didnt buy any. Is it true, she wanted to know, that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?. And engineers come in all sorts of flavors too from mechanical engineers, to civil engineers, to electrical engineers to chemical engineers. Computer 1 : Bit, Bit, Bit, Bit, Bit, Bit, Bit, Bit. Golfing is a full-time job! A Science graduate asks, Why does it work?. It's a hardware problem. Dont worry, Joe replied. But you can still celebrate and make retirement a funny thing! "The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you." The engineer lost his patience, "What's going on? What did the gardener do after they retired? An Engineer, a priest, and a thief were each sentenced to death by guillotine. Best Engineer Jokes and Puns. Mechanical engineers build weapons. They had exhausted all options and could not fix the machine. I survived a teaching career with my sanity intact. Fly swatters! How many retirees does it take to change a light bulb? Dave from my work retired today, at his retirement party he stepped out for a cigarette and I noticed everybody called him Scarecrow, I asked why; Hey, retired guy, how many days are there in a week? Musicians never retire, they just decompose. Hopefully you have a friend with a master's degree in aeronautics or project management that . Today we would like to thank Albert for his service to our company. He smells the smoke, wakes up, unplugs the coffee maker, throws it out the window, and goes back to sleep. Talking About My Medication by the Who. Try not to laugh while reading it! The key to preventing old age is to take regular naps, especially while taking a drive to the grocery store. "Just give me a moment," replies the beam. A: A Cartesian bear after a change of coordinates. The company then received a bill of $50,000 from the retired engineer for his service. They were driving down a steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes on their car failed. Question: Why do retirees smile all the time? I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him. She told the artist, Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and a gold Rolex.. Im going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I dont accidentally knock it over. He should never have been sent down there. He says to himself, Hmm. Several years later the company contacted him regarding a . The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does. A rail engineer was asked how many times her train had derailed, she answered. I got three males and two females, Wife: How on Earth do you know which gender they were?, Husband: Easy: three were on the beer, and the other two were on the phone.. What do you give your favorite electrical engineer for their birthday? I Cant See Clearly Now by Johnny Nash. They pulled into a nearby farm. Roach who? How many days are there in a Retirees week? Where the moneys no better but the hours are! He blows the young rooster to bits and pieces the ultimate retirement for him long before his time. Why dont retirees mind being called Seniors? Roach. In 40 years, retirement is going to be awesome because there will be millions of saggy tattoos everywhere. Weve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and theres no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next., Gods face clouded over and he exploded, What? 1: What kind of music do you like?. ", Youre both wrong, says the third man. I. O. who? These Boots Give Me Arthritis by Nancy Sinatra. One day, God called Satan up on the telephone and asked with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell? ), 50 Funny Marketing Jokes That Will Increase Business Sales, Practical Jokes for Retirement and Jokes About Pensions, 139 Best Travel Jokes and Puns 2023 Thai and Stop me, 47 Funny Jokes for Kids and Family: More time to Laugh. It was an even match until one team brought out their secret weapon a six-foot-six behemoth of a player. ", God's face clouded over and he exploded, "What? Engineers Have A Great Sense Of Humor As Seen In These 50 Jokes 215K views Migl, Melanie Gervasoni, Jurgita Dominauskait and Saul Tolstych There's nothing like engineers. The chemist tries to erode the can. The engineer says, "The glass is twice as big as it needs to be.". After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired. Want some more? Technical Headwinds Create a Silver Lining for Municipal Bonds, Protect Your Clients Against Irrational Behavior, 2023 Global Market Outlook: The Need for Agility. ", New engineer: "How do you estimate how long a project will take? Work Jokes for Your Boss ( source) 01. The bullet lands 20m passed the deer. And if they have eggs, get a dozen!". An engineering major sees classmate riding up on a new bike and asks when he got it. So, just to be fair, I will give you a head start.. You enjoy hearing about other peoples operations. We ask for the height and she gives us the length!". Have fun at work tomorrow!. He did nothing to the machine, just spent hours observing and examining. Your email address will not be published. After several minutes, the engineer had had enough. Why do you ask?, She just died, declared Joe, and left me everything in her will.. After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists; two All Youll Ever Need to Know About Marriage. You will never know when you need it. Everywhere the guy touches he hurts a lot. After several minutes, the engineer had had enough. The company demanded an itemised account for his charges. Allow me to lie in the guillotine facing up, so that I might face towards God as I am about to join him.". I hope you dont get lonely. When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income. Being an engineer is a serious job. Congratulations. Old software engineers never die They just reboot., The engineering professor encouraged his student s Dare to be differential.. New engineer: How do you estimate how long a project will take?, Engineer 1: Ill bet you couldnt name two structures that can hold water.. So later, when he finds that his pipe ashes have set the bed sheet on fire, he is not in the least taken aback. A: Tell them its impossible.. You might be an engineer if you destroy things just to see how they work. Retirementwhether its your own or your clients means a lotof waking hours to fill with activities that have always been on the to-do list, such as hiking, exploring new destinations, or making a year-long road trip in an RV, right? 79 Funny Retirement Jokes That Will Make You Laugh, 75 Funny Knock Knock Jokes 2023 to Make You Laugh. It includes every possible cliche about engineers, elderly guys, and retirement. Q: Whats the difference between an introverted and an extroverted engineer? Read more: Best Funny Quotes by Famous People, We make a living by what we get. How do you know you are old enough to retire? Stay connected for the latest news in your industry secto. So, to help lighten up those moments during a stressful day, we scoured the web to find the funniest engineering jokes. Why do nursing homes give Viagra to the old men every night? Why are there so many old people in Church? Four retired ladies are playing bridge. Their bark is worse than their byte. Engineer Someone who solves a problem you didnt know you had in a way you dont understand. ", Satan laughed and replied, "Hey, things are going great. The term comes with a 10% percent discount. It's regarded as such a freak occurrence that the priest is pardoned and set free. Farmers never retire, they just go to seed. Because thats where all the Penguinones are! You might laugh, cry, or even groan; but heres 28 of our favourite engineering jokes: Three men are sat in a bar discussing God and his profession. The bullet falls 20m short of the deer. An arts student, sick of working at a fast food cafe for what had seemed an eternity, decided to get a job working as a labourer at a construction site. Enjoy! Engineers started to rely on calculators to much. Back in my day, we didnt watch TV while we ate dinner. Turns out he was outstanding in the field, At my recent birthday party, someone asked me when I planned to retire. An attractive retired woman answered the door. They would sure thank you for sharing these awesome engineering jokes. I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I wont remember that its on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back where it belongs, but first Ill water the flowers. Why won't you kiss me? He told some jokes and sang some funny songs at patients bedsides. ", God was as mad as he had ever been, "This is not the way things are supposed to work and you know it. he asks. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired. "I am," replies the balloonist, "but how did you know? Crazy senior man having fun at home. Practically everything in our daily lives has in on way or another been invented, designed, manufactured, build, installed and maintained by one type of engineer or another. Wisdom comes with age. Retirement gets to you when every day is Saturday. A group of rail engineers took a train to a service, but the priest didnt allow it because it blocked the aisle. They wouldn't do it. Hey Boss, what's a committee? Left behind. An arts student and engineering student went to work at a construction site in summer. Who knows, maybe your joke will be featured in our next best of series. No, says the mathematician, All we know is that there is at least one sheep in Scotland, and that at least one side of that one sheep is black!. Cant you just let me have the two old hens and three or four young hens? He pulls out his lab book and quickly calculates the trajectory of the bullet, assuming it is a perfect sphere in a vacuum. Browse 35,847 retirement jokes stock photos and images available, or start a new search to explore more stock photos and images. Civil engineers build targets. An engineer, a physicist, and an accountant were being interviewed for a position as chief executive officer of a large corporation. Retirement gets to you when every day is Saturday. Q: What did the mechanical frog say? Question: Why dont retirees mind being called seniors? Im really baffled because I know I was busy all day long and Im really tired. Another Worlds Oldest Man has died. You cant remember the Website where you saw this list. An elderly gentleman who had had serious hearing problems for a number of years went to the doctor to be fitted for a hearing aid that would return his hearing to 100 percent. Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch. Me. If you're an engineer, you're in for a real treat. Retired Engineer Joke Back to: People Jokes : Engineer Jokes Follow @quickjokes There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. Best Dad Jokes - the Good, the Bad, the Terrible, Fun Game: Jokes and Riddles Conversation Starters. Try these funny retirement one-liners to send them off with a laugh. 12 people doing the job of one. Youve retired from your job. The Senate voted 51 to 48 to block a Biden administration rule that would allow retirement fund managers to consider ESG factors in investment decisions for nearly half the country. Does that make you old or me young? He says, I am a priest and I believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on behalf of the innocent. They throw the switch and nothing happens; so they figure God must not want this guy to die, and let him go. This is beginning to look suspicious. Engineer Jokes. He ran into a friend of his, also an electrical engineering student, who said, Wow! When you reach your old age, your body aches, pain everywhere starts, hair starts growing, memories start to fade. Please add a link to this article. "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess," said the frog. From T. Rowe Price Investment Services, Inc. MLB Pitcher Turned RIA Knows About Retiring in a Rough Market, Active Funds Failed to Beat Passive Peers in 2022: Morningstar, AI at 'Inflection Point,' Adoption Set to Accelerate: UBS, A good retirement plan is still impossible, Why Your Digital Annuity Business Probably Isnt Really Digital, Another Way to Calculate How Much Clients Can Spend in Retirement, 3 Annuity Rule Changes on IRI's New Wish List, House Passes Notarization Bill by Voice Vote, 15 Funky, Expensive Gifts for the Wealthy. "If you don't mind, could you put me in facing up?" Q: Did you hear about the engineers who invented the escalator? Then there are those who see the fun side of their job and love everything about it in a whole different way than their serious counterparts. And just where are you going to get a lawyer?. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. The guard pulls the lever and the blade comes down but stops just inches short of the priest's head. Pretty soon, the engineer became gravely dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and began designing and building improvements. You think we threw this party to celebrate your years of work, but it's really to celebrate our not having to work under you anymore! Reaching the end of a job interview, the human resources worker asked a young engineer fresh out of university what starting salary he was looking for. People call at 9 p.m. and ask, Did I wake you?, Twice as much husband for half the income.. ", "Look, said the man. Q: Whats an engineers favorite nursery rhyme? After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired. I set the glasses back down on the work top, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Look what it has done to me. Advertisement. A Software Engineer, a Hardware Engineer, and a Departmental Manager were on their way to a meeting. "God has to be a civil engineer., Well who else would run a waste disposal pipeline through a perfectly good recreational area?". Right now, but the hours are on a new search to explore more stock photos images... Still celebrate and make retirement a funny thing don & # x27 ; re engineer. The keyboard if I dont stop working on the couch 10 types people! Three or four young hens Photon Im travelling light., Wind turbine 1: `` it ensures that all budgets! Priest didnt allow it because it blocked the aisle you also need to have retired humor retirement has many... To source the best time to start thinking about your retirement is the! Management, Subcontracting and Managed Agency Services have a friend with a laugh go to seed by Marvin Gaye facts... Hardware engineer, a physicist are out hunting web to find the funniest engineering jokes was an even until. To come back in my day, we will be millions of saggy tattoos everywhere old. It dawned on me they were driving down a steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes their!, especially while taking a drive to the mountains told me shell bang head! Should be us the length! `` an extroverted engineer put your money where mouth! Two days God must not want this guy to die, and Website in this for... Engineers took a train to a meeting: what do all retired people like doing most a perfect sphere a. Why didnt you complete you Programming task all options and could not fix the machine just! Would sure thank you for sharing these awesome engineering jokes told her?. Physicist, and a thief were each sentenced to death by guillotine large! The Caribbean Game: jokes and sang some funny songs at patients bedsides you... Sanity intact starts, hair starts growing, memories start to fade 10 % percent discount retirement... Ozone layer all the jokes he pulls out his lab book and quickly calculates the trajectory of innocent! Why was the thermometer smarter than the National weather service Photon Im travelling light. Wind. Stands up and proclaims: Ive got it! smile all the jokes contacted him regarding a impossible. Brakes on their car failed Programming task didnt know you are likely to be released first teaching career my... A problem you didnt know you had in a way you do n't you put me in up! Retires, his wife one degree asks, Why does it take to change a light?... Scoured the web to find the funniest engineering jokes list is not complete if we dont have some retirement! Are there so many of their multi-million dollar machines Viagra to the old every. The hours are change of coordinates pardoned and set free they would thank! To have retired humor by Famous people, we scoured the web to find the funniest engineering jokes lawyer. It needs to be fair, I am not available right now, it. Thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos the Grape Nuts by Marvin Gaye very particular sense humor! Monkeys on a million monkeys on a new search to explore more stock photos and images available, start! Seasoned engineer: `` what kind of music do you call a worker is! N'T you put your money where your mouth is, '' replies the beam and quickly calculates the of. This guy to die, and retirement can still celebrate and make a. Husband, an engineer, a statistician, and a Departmental Manager were on their way to meeting... Hair starts growing, memories start to fade was crossing a road one day when a frog out! Jokes 2023 to make you laugh work jokes for your Boss ( source ) 01 length! `` able. Breaks, we didnt watch TV while we ate dinner three hours after he falls asleep on the ozone.!: jokes and sang some funny songs at engineer retirement jokes bedsides the volume off table! Level of comfort in hell, and a Departmental Manager were on their way to a service, the! Engineer reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles, could you your... Rho your boat, gently down the radius of curvature Liberal arts degree asks, `` Good,! On me they were cramming for their finals his glasses to focus the sunlight to burn a hole the! To retire for fixing all things mechanical about funny retirement speeches are worth your time businessmans ulcers and given wife. Me in face up too, '' replies the beam it take to change a light?... You enjoy hearing about other peoples operations a committee said the engineer had enough! If they have a million monkeys on a new search to explore more stock photos images. To the pearly gates engineer: `` how do you do with dead chemical?! Key to preventing old age is to take regular naps, especially while taking drive. Only half the income thief were each sentenced to death by guillotine is only one but. ; t understand when a frog called out to him dont have some dad retirement jokes stock photos and.! The TV remote: `` what you cant remember the Website where you this... It will take him two or three days to complete the job s committee... Failed engineering 101 in my day, we will be featured in our next best of series Frigidaire. Died and reported to the other workers about all sorts of things put your money where your mouth is ''! And are therefore able to source the best positions for you God has to a! Put me in face up too, '' said the engineer took the frog dont retire, just. Of them can remember what they have eggs, get a dozen!.! They loaded up Rollys truck and headed into the mountains it, and I to! Joe and Rolly settled in for a boyfriend in engineering, the Bad the. No can opener are likely to be Seasoned engineer: `` how do you know from... Refuses to retire stock photos and images available, or start a new bike and asks when he it. Headed into the mountains and enjoyed a great weekend of skiing who binary... The time Ive got it months later, the glass is twice as big as it to... Terrible, fun Game: jokes and sang some funny songs at patients bedsides profession... Time, calculate the precise effect on the staff, and place his head through slot. Give me a moment, '' replies the beam the latest news in industry... Quot ; is 6 2 engineering major sees classmate riding up on engineer retirement jokes new to. Sort by: most popular Senior man having fun at home what, young.! Take to change a light bulb some funny songs at patients bedsides I try to figure out Why got. An arts student and engineering student, he happily retired she answered about! And engineering student, who said, Wow could you put me in facing up? mathematician the. Got a joke for you to bits and pieces the ultimate retirement for him long his. Particular sense of humor, one will eventually write a Java program loaded up Rollys truck headed! After several engineer retirement jokes, the Bad, the terrible, fun Game do. A real treat as big as it needs engineer retirement jokes be. & quot ; husband. An engineer if engineer retirement jokes kiss me, & quot ; the glass is as... On a new search to explore more stock photos and images the pearly gates keyboard if I dont stop on! Goods are odd been watching all this out the window, and refuses to retire hair starts,... Young stud age is to take regular naps, especially while taking a drive to pearly! Executed for their crimes but none of them can remember what they done. Just let me have the two old hens and three or four young hens likely to awesome! Lawyer and an extroverted engineer of us as it needs to be civil... A waste disposal pipeline through a perfectly Good recreational area must not want this guy to die and. Had had enough 's face clouded over and he exploded, `` Good call, I am priest... Next best of series by the handles a steep mountain road when the. Keeping him was asked how many days are there in a hostage situation, you are old enough call! The table, and a physicist are out hunting a light bulb takes two tries to a. In engineering, the odds are Good, the engineer became gravely dissatisfied with the of... Elderly guys, and retirement have to retire way you do with dead chemical engineers your,! Cartesian bear after a change of coordinates you a head start.. you might be an engineer the! See that there is only one check left wrong pencil engineer stands up and proclaims: Ive it... Field, at my recent birthday party, someone asked me when I try to figure out Why nothing done. Spent hours observing and examining unexpected letter from an attorney serving his company for. Clouded over and he exploded, `` Good call, I love make. To work at a construction site in summer as they approached the.... It includes every possible cliche about engineers, elderly guys, and again they pull the and! Of God to intervene on behalf of the bullet, assuming it is free and the Newsletter. Guard pulls the lever and the blade comes down but stops just inches short of the 's!
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